16 weeks = 4 months. It is crazy to me that we are 4 months pregnant! I am in a strange combination of physically knowing I am pregnant (my clothes don't fit) but mentally not realizing it. I was in Target the other day and I walked past the baby section and found myself thinking, "Maybe some day we might have kids..." And then I was like,"Oh shoot! We ARE having a kid...in APRIL." I forget that I am pregnant pretty often and then I remember and I think, "I have been pregnant fooorreeevvveeerrr!" - such a weird combination.
The second trimester has definitely been better for me than the first. I have not be nauseous since the end of week 13 (and week 13 was quite the week for nausea...I think I used all of my strong will to literally will myself to not throw up in the car several times.)
I am exhausted. I don't know if I am exhausted due to pregnancy or if it is everything I do in a day, but it seems nice to blame it on growing a human. The lovely internet tells me that exercising while pregnant will actually help me feel more energetic. I am sure that is the case for some women, but not this one. I have started exercising again, but I do not think it is making me feel any more energetic. If anything, I go to bed closer to 7pm on the days I exercise. I typically take a two hour nap during the afternoons on Saturday and Sundays (and still sleep 9ish hours at night).
Anytime I complain about low energy or being tired all the time, Ian reminds, "You are growing a human! This is what a miracle feels like." I wish miracles felt more like rainbows, unicorns, and pumpkin cinnamon rolls. It is a good reminder and hopefully Ian will keep reminding me.
I feel like the biggest challenge of this pregnancy is to not wish away the next 6 months. I so badly want to close my eyes and wake up when its (this school year) is over. I want Ian to be done with grad school. I want to know who is going to cover my classes and what I have to prep for them. I want to know what is going to happen next - are we staying in Denver? Are we moving? Where are we moving? When are we moving? I would probably feel this exact same way if I was not pregnant, but I think knowing that we are responsible for another human (who will be helpless and needs health insurance) makes it worse. Ian and I have a great life. I would not want to trade lives or problems with anyone. So in the moments when I feel a whisper of, "Wake me up when its all over..." I whisper back, "Dig deep and believe that God has good things for us in the next 6 months and we do not want to miss them."
2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self control." This is not an exact translation, but it is what I have memorized - a mix of NLT and ESV.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Monday, October 17, 2016
Pregnancy Q & A
This is such an exciting and heart breaking post to write! We are so excited that God has blessed us with a wee one on the way. And, at the same time, our hearts break for our friends that desire for this and it is not going (or has not gone) as planned. You are not far from our hearts and thoughts. We are learning how to walk the path of deep deep joy and at the exact time deep grief.
Because we have friends all of the world we wanted to take a moment and let you know how life is looking for us as we experience pregnancy (and then I can look back some day and remember...see Answer #1).
Q: Has the baby eaten your brain?
A: Yes, yes it has. There are days when I know that my students think I am stupid. I can't remember things that should be so easy to think of. I did mention to Ian the other night that I should maybe give myself some grace - I don't know how many women try to reteach themselves (and then teach their students) Calculus II and Multivariable Calculus while pregnant.
Q: So far does everything look good?
A: Yup! I had a small moment of panic during the 12 week check up when the doctor could not find the heartbeat. She assured us that everything is okay and our child is just so active that they could not get a good reading. (Of course, my child is going to be active and have ants in his or her pants.) I have been lectured at both my doctor's appointments about weight gain. People! I can't exercise, I can't drink alcohol, the only stress relief available is ice cream and pumpkin cinnamon rolls (thank you sweet and amazing husband for making a ridiculous amount!). So our kid might be born obese... sorrynotsorry.
Q: When are you due?
A: April 17th, 2017 - I am not putting too much hope on that exact day. I keep thinking late April. If we end up in Denver long term, I really really hope that our kid's birthday is not 4/20. I am really holding out that we may have a May Day (May 1st) baby. I want to make it as far through the school year as possible. Will I eat my words come April? Yup. But I really want to be there for my other babies (who are so cute and adorable this year!)
Q: How are you feeling?
A: Shocked and disbelief. I can't really believe that there is a human inside of me.
Q: Have you experienced any morning sickness or symptoms?
A: Yes. I was pretty nauseous weeks 6 through 12. I threw up during weeks 7, 8, and 9. Between marathon training earlier this year and morning sickness, I am ready to not throw up again for a long time. I tried all the remedies I could find online - none of them really helped. At this point (14 weeks) I am exhausted, apathetic towards life, and the nausea comes and goes.
Q: Will you find out the gender?
A: Most likely. If we are going to have a girl, I need to start telling Ian to NOT spoil the kid rotten (I think the grandparents/relatives will do enough spoiling). In Korea, he was such a softie for little girls. And he spoils me like there is no tomorrow, so I can only imagine how many ponies he would buy for our daughter.
Q: Do you think you want a girl or a boy?
A: I have an older brother and I absolutely LOVED growing up with an older brother. Ian has a twin brother that was super fun to grow up with as well. I would say that Ian and I both would pick a boy if we got to pick, but we don't. Also, I hate the cliche, "I don't care if it is a girl or a boy as long it is healthy." Unhealthy babies are awesome too! Ian and I will love and adore our baby regardless if he or she is healthy or not (I could go on, but I will get off my soapbox now).
Q: Are your parents excited?
A: Excited is an understatement for both of our parents.
Q: How is running?
A: Nonexistent. I realized that if I run, the next day I threw up every 30 minutes. Same thing would happen if I went for a walk. So I am not exercising right now. I have been encouraged to give it a try now that I am in my second trimester. I have gone for a couple of 10 minute strolls (leisurely walking pace) just to get outside for a bit.
That are all the common questions I can think of right now. Let me know if there is anything I forgot.
Something that I pray often is, "Lord, prepare our hearts for what you have for us." I started praying this last May when I thought about Ian graduating and our future was unknown. Now there is a baby thrown into the mix and worry can creep in quite often. So if there is a prayer to cover this pregnancy and the next year of our life, it is this one.
Because we have friends all of the world we wanted to take a moment and let you know how life is looking for us as we experience pregnancy (and then I can look back some day and remember...see Answer #1).
Q: Has the baby eaten your brain?
A: Yes, yes it has. There are days when I know that my students think I am stupid. I can't remember things that should be so easy to think of. I did mention to Ian the other night that I should maybe give myself some grace - I don't know how many women try to reteach themselves (and then teach their students) Calculus II and Multivariable Calculus while pregnant.
 |
| I thought I was 3 weeks here (hence the 3)...I was actually 4 weeks 4 days. I look at this picture and laugh a little bit - we had no idea what the next 8 weeks of our life would look like (or the next year for that matter). |
A: Yup! I had a small moment of panic during the 12 week check up when the doctor could not find the heartbeat. She assured us that everything is okay and our child is just so active that they could not get a good reading. (Of course, my child is going to be active and have ants in his or her pants.) I have been lectured at both my doctor's appointments about weight gain. People! I can't exercise, I can't drink alcohol, the only stress relief available is ice cream and pumpkin cinnamon rolls (thank you sweet and amazing husband for making a ridiculous amount!). So our kid might be born obese... sorrynotsorry.
Q: When are you due?
A: April 17th, 2017 - I am not putting too much hope on that exact day. I keep thinking late April. If we end up in Denver long term, I really really hope that our kid's birthday is not 4/20. I am really holding out that we may have a May Day (May 1st) baby. I want to make it as far through the school year as possible. Will I eat my words come April? Yup. But I really want to be there for my other babies (who are so cute and adorable this year!)
 |
| I thought I was 6 weeks 6 days in this picture...I was actually 8 weeks 2 days. My mirror selfie game is not quite on point yet. I think I have teeny tiny bump. Can you see it? |
A: Shocked and disbelief. I can't really believe that there is a human inside of me.
Q: Have you experienced any morning sickness or symptoms?
A: Yes. I was pretty nauseous weeks 6 through 12. I threw up during weeks 7, 8, and 9. Between marathon training earlier this year and morning sickness, I am ready to not throw up again for a long time. I tried all the remedies I could find online - none of them really helped. At this point (14 weeks) I am exhausted, apathetic towards life, and the nausea comes and goes.
 |
| This sums up my days right now. The left is me in the morning and the right is me in the afternoon evening. I swear my belly grows throughout the day and then shrinks back down at night...so weird! |
A: Most likely. If we are going to have a girl, I need to start telling Ian to NOT spoil the kid rotten (I think the grandparents/relatives will do enough spoiling). In Korea, he was such a softie for little girls. And he spoils me like there is no tomorrow, so I can only imagine how many ponies he would buy for our daughter.
 |
| 14 weeks 2 days - I definitely can tell I have a roll and can't wear most of the pants I own. |
Q: Do you think you want a girl or a boy?
A: I have an older brother and I absolutely LOVED growing up with an older brother. Ian has a twin brother that was super fun to grow up with as well. I would say that Ian and I both would pick a boy if we got to pick, but we don't. Also, I hate the cliche, "I don't care if it is a girl or a boy as long it is healthy." Unhealthy babies are awesome too! Ian and I will love and adore our baby regardless if he or she is healthy or not (I could go on, but I will get off my soapbox now).
Q: Are your parents excited?
A: Excited is an understatement for both of our parents.
Q: How is running?
A: Nonexistent. I realized that if I run, the next day I threw up every 30 minutes. Same thing would happen if I went for a walk. So I am not exercising right now. I have been encouraged to give it a try now that I am in my second trimester. I have gone for a couple of 10 minute strolls (leisurely walking pace) just to get outside for a bit.
That are all the common questions I can think of right now. Let me know if there is anything I forgot.
Something that I pray often is, "Lord, prepare our hearts for what you have for us." I started praying this last May when I thought about Ian graduating and our future was unknown. Now there is a baby thrown into the mix and worry can creep in quite often. So if there is a prayer to cover this pregnancy and the next year of our life, it is this one.
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