Sunday, October 30, 2016

16 weeks

16 weeks = 4 months.  It is crazy to me that we are 4 months pregnant!  I am in a strange combination of physically knowing I am pregnant (my clothes don't fit) but mentally not realizing it.  I was in Target the other day and I walked past the baby section and found myself thinking, "Maybe some day we might have kids..." And then I was like,"Oh shoot!  We ARE having a APRIL."  I forget that I am pregnant pretty often and then I remember and I think, "I have been pregnant fooorreeevvveeerrr!" - such a weird combination.

The second trimester has definitely been better for me than the first.  I have not be nauseous since the end of week 13 (and week 13 was quite the week for nausea...I think I used all of my strong will to literally will myself to not throw up in the car several times.)

I am exhausted.  I don't know if I am exhausted due to pregnancy or if it is everything I do in a day, but it seems nice to blame it on growing a human.  The lovely internet tells me that exercising while pregnant will actually help me feel more energetic.  I am sure that is the case for some women, but not this one.  I have started exercising again, but I do not think it is making me feel any more energetic.  If anything, I go to bed closer to 7pm on the days I exercise.  I typically take a two hour nap during the afternoons on Saturday and Sundays (and still sleep 9ish hours at night).

Anytime I complain about low energy or being tired all the time, Ian reminds, "You are growing a human!  This is what a miracle feels like." I wish miracles felt more like rainbows, unicorns, and pumpkin cinnamon rolls.  It is a good reminder and hopefully Ian will keep reminding me.  

I feel like the biggest challenge of this pregnancy is to not wish away the next 6 months.  I so badly want to close my eyes and wake up when its (this school year) is over.  I want Ian to be done with grad school.  I want to know who is going to cover my classes and what I have to prep for them.  I want to know what is going to happen next - are we staying in Denver?  Are we moving?  Where are we moving?  When are we moving?  I would probably feel this exact same way if I was not pregnant, but I think knowing that we are responsible for another human (who will be helpless and needs health insurance) makes it worse.  Ian and I have a great life.  I would not want to trade lives or problems with anyone.  So in the moments when I feel a whisper of, "Wake me up when its all over..."  I whisper back, "Dig deep and believe that God has good things for us in the next 6 months and we do not want to miss them."

2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self control."  This is not an exact translation, but it is what I have memorized - a mix of NLT and ESV.

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