Monday, January 23, 2017

28 weeks

I think it took me a solid 6.5 months to believe that I am pregnant - I finally believe it and only forget a couple of times a day that I am.  I think part of the reason I finally believe it is my belly is big.  I met someone for the first time the other evening and she asked when I was due.  I told her April and she replied, "Oh fun!  I am due in May with my second." AND SHE WAS BARELY SHOWING.  I told Ian about it later and we both laughed.  The other reason that I finally believe that I am pregnant is that I can feel the baby move every so often.  Some days he moves a lot and some days I don't feel anything.  

24 weeks 4 days

If there is one thing that I have learned during this pregnancy it is how most Americans feel about exercise.  I have been doing a pretty steady combination of elliptical and lifting weights for a few months and I am so over it.  I will listen to music, watch TV, do anything to keep my mind off the fact that I am exercising.  I do not particularly look forward to the part of my day when I work out.  It takes zero effort to convince me not to work out.  And I rely on meeting other people to force me to work out most days.  I remind myself that it is not forever and I can get back to running in a few (five?) months once the weather is nice.  I will say that exercising helps me sleep so much better.  

26 weeks 4 days - post workout.  Good thing my husband lets me borrow shirts that fit!
I think I am on the brink of getting so big everything hurts and day-to-day tasks are more difficult.  The past 6-8 weeks have been great!  I understand why some women love being pregnant.  (I don't know if I will ever say that, but I understand the sentiment much more now than in weeks 0-16).  I know a lot of women have a hard time in the third trimester, I am hoping if I keep busy at school maybe it will pass quickly.  I definitely have been getting a lot of "When are you due?" questions recently.  I tell people mid April and you can tell they thought I was going to say in 3 weeks.  I just chuckle on the inside.

26 weeks 1 day - this dress is super comfy and I probably going to wear until it does not fit!
We are still in name gridlock: Samuel Henry vs. Benjamin Lewis.  The other night we tried to come up with a third possibility but we could not land on anything specific.

I have been returning to my, "Lord prepare our hearts for what you have for us."  I read this story the other day and it has stuck with me.  Some days I am so focused on school and my babies there I don't have too much time to worry and other days it feels like every 5 minutes I am worrying, "What if Ian does not find a job?" "What if I can't feel the baby move today because something is wrong with him - would I even know?"  "How in the world will I know what to do with a baby?"  "What if my maternity leave does not work out?"  "Will I have to come in for a few days at the end of the school year?"  "What do I do with a baby while I am at school?" "How much is it going to cost to have this baby?" "What if we name the baby something and then in a year we realize it was the wrong name?" "Was this a fluke?  Will we be able to have more children?" and it can keep going on and on.  Some of the worries feel small and some feel big. I am a big fan of preaching the gospel to myself so here is what the gospel sounds like these days:

  • Regardless of how big or small my worries feel, God is bigger.
  • Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you.
  • God is good.  He has a plan - for His Glory.
  • Ian once told me that the verse, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" can be thought of as, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the fruit of your obedience."  The phase, "fruit of your obedience" is something that I have been pondering.  I love John Piper - here is a short article from him on the verse.
The best way to silence the worry is to start with, "Lord prepare our hearts for what you have for us."  It seems to cut through all the voices and clutter (and some days exhaustion) in my thoughts and give me space to remind myself who my God is and what He has done.

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