Samuel Cary - 20 months

Four Generations at Thanksgiving

Our Samuel Cary is 20 months old!  What a fun month it has been!  (Do I start every post that way?  It also has it challenging moments, but we will focus on the fun...)  If I had to pick three words to sum up this stage, they would be: repetition, imitation, and stubborn (and a close tie would be opinionated or independent). 

Accomplishments:
Tripled Vocabulary - shortly after Thanksgiving Samuel started to say, "Momma" and "Bubba" (my water bottle) so he pretty much tripled his vocabulary.  He also says, "Buh!  Buh!" on a regular basis.  If it is in the morning at breakfast, it means he wants blueberries.  If it is at night after supper, then it means he wants to take a bath.  It can also refer to bubbles or balloon.

Climbing - Lord have mercy! We are in a climbing phase.  It is completely impressive to me the things that Samuel can climb on.  I put the Christmas tree up in a corner and put a chair in front of it to block it.  He worked on it for an afternoon and had figured out how to climb up on the chair.  

Playing with a dump truck at Miss Darla's

Big Boy Booster Seat - Shortly after figuring out how to climb up on chairs, Samuel started boycotting his high chair.  He would not sit down in it and insisted on sitting on "big boy" chairs.  I utilized Amazon Prime Two Day Shipping and got a him a booster seat.  The high chair is now in the attic waiting for Brother to need it.  

Spending the Day without Momma - Someone from church (Darla) volunteered twice during the last month to take Samuel for the day.  He went and hung out at the Cline Farm from 8am-6:30pm.  It was so good for both of us.  Supposedly he was well-behaved and Mom got to cross some stuff off her to-do list.  It was glorious.  I have never left Samuel with anyone for that long, so I was proud of him for doing so well.  

Playing with Dada's glasses at supper

Praying for specific things - Samuel has been a fan of praying for a few months.  I think he associates it with eating and he gets positive attention for it.  He has started to point at objects and then fold his hands to pray.  So we pray about the object he pointed at.  

Sweet story - Samuel had been praying for specific things for a few weeks and then one day he pointed at me and said, "Momma". We prayed for Momma.  It was so sweet of him to think of me.  He now asks to pray for "Dada" or "Momma" on a regular occasion.  He has asked to pray for himself once or twice.

Likes:
The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock - I think I sang this song about 10-20 times a day for the last month.  Samuel knows the hand motions but is stubborn about showing other people that he knows the motions.  He really likes the Psalty version of the Wiseman.  Also - my poor kid thinks that the Wise Men from the Nativity is the Wise Man in the song. 


Still loving:
His coffeepot / playing coffee, trucks, tractors, bubbles, vacuuming, CRACKING EGGS and stirring / cooking, washing his hands (playing in water), John Deere, toys that are rideable (his John Deere tractor and 4-wheeler)

All Samuel's dreams came true when he got to help Uncle Jared plow snow

Not loving (or liking):
being told "No", diaper changes, not having his paci / giving his paci to Mom or Dad, riding in the car for more than five minutes

Funny Story - we have been working on the Christmas story and the characters of the Nativity.  Samuel has a Nativity set and knows Jesus, the Dada, the Momma, the Wise Men, and everyone else is usually Dada as well.  The other day, he picked up Baby Jesus and gave him a few kisses.  Before I could finish saying, "Samuel how sweet of you to kiss the..." Samuel had throw Baby Jesus across the room.  I, unfortunately, laughed as I was shocked (which is the best reinforcement for Samuel) so he did it several more times throughout the weeks leading up to Christmas.  A good summation of life with our sweet crazy boy.

Baby #2 - 24 weeks

Nerd out with me for a moment.  24 x 7 = 168 days pregnant 168/30 = 5.6 months.  So we are well on our way to be SIX months pregnant.  Wah! 

My due date keeps changing - let's say this is 20 weeks.

Some days this pregnancy feels like it is flying by and other days it feels like I have been pregnant forever.  The closer my due date gets, the more anxious I get about this kid sleeping.  Those first 6-12 months of Samuel's life were rough in the sleep department (and I feel like lack of sleep makes both Samuel and I cranky and that affects all of life?).  The other night Ian said something about, "... and we will have a cute little cuddly baby.." and I was like, "I am excited for the baby to be a year old" (and Ian agreed).  At least we can go into it with our eyes wide open and know that it doesn't last forever (it just feels that way when you are in the middle of it).

Headed out to push the jogging stroller - it was COLD - a few days past 20 weeks

I have hit the wall as far as exercise goes.  I am OVER it.  I am not very good about getting out with Samuel as it is so rainy or cold or windy (or all three).  And by the time that Samuel goes to bed, I just want to sit on the couch and stare at the wall (or my phone).  I know my future self will thank me if I don't get totally out of shape - those last few weeks of pregnancy will be much smoother if I just keep at it.  I have found some pregnancy workout videos on Amazon Prime so I do about 10 minutes of something (and complain most of the time that I am doing it - sorry Husband).

21 weeks 21 days - He is face up - you can see his eyes and nose and mouth - Hi Baby Hi!!

I think part of the issue is that I am gaining weight slower this time around (thank you Lord).  I am 16ish pounds gained from my pre-pregnancy weight (which is closer to 25 or 27 lbs pre-Samuel but whatever).  With Samuel, if I did not exercise, I felt like I blinked and gained 5 pounds.  This time, I am eating whatever I want and not really gaining too fast (which is FUN and BAD all at the same time - eek!)

Baby's Profile, you can see his skull/brain, eyes, nose, and mouth

I also get a good chuckle out the differences in doctors.  With Samuel, I was weighed every.single.appointment (and I think I was lectured every single appointment about my over-achieverment in the weight gain department).  This go around I think I have been weighed three times and no one ever says anything about my weight gain.  


I have been craving food more this go around.  I saw a picture online of someone making egg noddles from duck eggs and I was like, "OH MY GOSH, I NEED THOSE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!" It feels a bit immature, but I am rolling with it - for better or worse.  

21 weeks and 5 days

I think we have a name!  We have had one that we have liked for awhile and we have stuck with it for a month or two.  I may do a baby name poll towards the end of the pregnancy so we aren't sharing for now.  But it is exciting to think of the baby by his name.  

Sleep could be better (and it could be worse).  If I was exercising more, I may be sleeping better.  I am already sick of sleeping on my side.  I was awake during the night last night and I was thinking how grateful I am that I get to stay in my nice warm cozy bed.  My first choice is to sleep all night, but if I am going to wake up, it is nice to stay in bed and not drag myself out of bed to feed and change a person who does not like having his diaper removed due to being cold.  I think I have some more sanctifying to come in life.  

Maybe not my best picture, but some day I will be glad I took it - 23 weeks and some change

My back has started to ache some days so I am trying to be good about squatting to lift Samuel (which helps a lot!).  It feels inconvenient, but it is worth it.  And it is like a mini-workout, right?

24 weeks with Samuel

It is fun to go back and read what pregnancy and life were like pre-Samuel.  Man, I can remember making copies for my Calc BC final, like 45 minutes before I gave it.  It was such a stressful year.  I am glad that I am not re-living that year of my life :) It was a good hard year and I learned a lot, but I am thankful it is behind me and I am not in the middle of it.

And reading that blog post made me realize that I have yet to start a registry - do we even need anything?  I will probably make a couple (so that I can get the free stuff that you get when you start a registry). I need to get back in the infant / little baby mindset.  You forget what it is like (or at least I do, until I see a picture or video of Samuel and then it comes flooding back).

Thankfuls 2018

Happy Thanksgiving!  Ever since I have been a little girl I have been making a list of 100 things I am thankful for each year on (or close to) Thanksgiving Day.  The tradition was started by my mom on a car ride out to Iowa to visit family for Thanksgiving and has continued.

I am thankful for (in no particular order):
1. God - He sees us, calls us, redeems us, and is with us
2. Ian - 
3. Samuel 
4. our Wee One kicking away on the inside - you have a name, but we aren't sharing yet
5. Snowplows
6. Snowplow drivers

Samuel Cary - 19 months

Our Samuel Cary is 19 months - and wow! what a great month it has been!  Some people told us when Samuel was a tiny infant that somewhere around 15-18 months kids get to be really fun.  At the time, that seemed eons away, but now that we are living the dream, they were right - this is a fun stage.  I told Ian the other day, "I laugh multiple times a day with Samuel.  I also want to pull my hair out multiples a day, but I will take it."  I don't remember laughing much Samuel's first year of life and so I will take the fun with the challenges.

New Skills:
Praying - Samuel has been praying by holding our hands since the summer. Recently he wants to pray by folding his hands.  It is so cute.  

Samuel likes to shut himself (slowly) into a room (usually a closet) and then giggle until you come open the door.  He especially gets a kick out of it if you ask, "Where is Samuel?" while he shuts the door and is inside.  It is like the beginning phases of hide-and-go-seek. He does a great job of not smashing his fingers in the door.


We have been working with Samuel on the skill of picking up and cleaning up.  He does a pretty good job of picking up if you tell him specific task to do (go put this car in the basket etc.) It does depend on his mood, but that is probably every thing at this stage. He has self-assigned himself to help fold laundry (wad up a towel or shirt and shove it in a drawer).  I try to praise him for having a helpful attitude and then refold the item when he isn't looking.

Climbing up on the couch - ugh!  Samuel is tall enough and strong enough to pull himself up on the couch.  It is a good workout for him.  He was very proud of himself the first time that he made it up on the couch and went running across the cushions, only to fall and bang his nose on the arm of the couch.  Oh man!  He hasn't screamed like that in awhile.  I thought there was going to be a lot of blood, but there was not any.  His nose swelled up and he has a scab on his nose, but no worse the wear. I was probably just as upset as he was.  He also figured out how to climb the step stool (and gave me a heart attack when I found him standing on the top step).

Likes:
Hummus - praise the Lord - Samuel will eat broccoli, carrots, and peas dipped in hummus.  He isn't too fond of them on their own, but will eat just about anything (lunch meat, tortilla) if you dip it in hummus for him.  Sometimes he suggests somewhat odd combinations.  He also likes guacamole (but won't eat avocado). 

Truck Tunes - Lord have mercy!  This is completely my fault.  I was having a "just leave Mom alone for five minutes so that I can get one thing done" moment so I looked up "construction trucks" or something on YouTube.  I found truck tunes and now Samuel asks for the truck video all the time.  He wants to wear shirts that have trucks on them.  He wants to read trucks books (but that comes in a dull second place compared to the truck video).  

Coffee Maker / Coffee Pot - once again, this was kinda my fault.  We got a new coffeepot and I let Samuel help me take it out the box and with that, it was over. He staked the coffee maker as his.  He has taken the coffeepot everywhere with him - in the car, in the bathtub.  I think we may have made 800 cups of hypothetical coffee.  Samuel knew all the steps to making coffee - pour the water in, scoop in grounds, press the buttons on the front, pour the coffee in a to-go cup and add creamer.  He dragged that coffeepot all through the house and would insist on you taking the cup of coffee when offered.  Of course he wanted me to sit with him and watch the process. Someday my child will play independently...right?

Balloons - someone at church passed along some balloons from a baby shower to us - and they have been a huge hit.  Samuel will say, "ba ba" and try to lay on the balloons.  He laughs when they float up the ceiling. 

Cooking / Stirring - as the theme of the month goes - this was my own fault - I let him help me stir some eggs for an eggbake and now he begs to stir things.  He will often have a meltdown during cooking.  He gets mad that the eggbake has to go in the oven.  He gets mad that he can't touch the hot oven.  It is usually towards the end of the day so neither of us is filled with patience.  We get eggs for free (thank you Darla!) and so sometimes I will let him crack one or two eggs (which he enjoys and is really pretty good at cracking them) and whisk them around in the bowl.  He likes to run the show and tell me what needs to be added.   

Checking out a new (long) stick

Vacuum - he has liked the vacuum for awhile, but we have been vacuuming a lot this past month due to leaves be brought in the house all the time.  He likes to take the attachments off and pretend to vacuum.  He likes to pull the cord out.  

Outside - this hasn't changed much, but Samuel loves to go outside.  I don't even take toys out for the most part.  He will play with sticks, rocks, leaves, and dried grass. 

The best of times: When he laughs, when he spontaneously tells you that he loves you, when he does something completely unexpected and hilarious, when he prays

The worst of times: irrational meltdowns or all meltdowns / tantrums, when he can't tell you what he wants, when he wants to be held allll the time

Sleep: On the positive side - Samuel does not really cry anymore when he is in his crib.  On the negative side - I can't get him on a good schedule. We spent all of last month transitioning down to one nap and it was rough.  We were finally on a good schedule and he was napping for two or two and half glorious hours in the afternoon. Daylight Savings Time threw us off (over two weeks ago!) and I can't get him adjusted.  He is back to napping for 60-90 minutes (along with waking up at 5am) and then being ready for bed by 4:30-5pm and it makes the afternoons and evenings trying.  I think he has dark circles under his eyes.  Poor guy.  Hopefully we will get back on a good schedule after we get done traveling for Thanksgiving.

I told Samuel I needed one picture of him in his Halloween costume.

Speaking of holidays - we had some holidays to celebrate this past month - Halloween and pre-Christmas.  We went trick-or-treating to four different houses of church members and Samuel made out like a bandit!  He would wear his Samasourus costume until he got the candy and then would take it off.  It was a fun night.

We also attended a Halloween parade on the town square and Samuel loved the band.  It was cold, so we didn't stick around for too long.

Paulding's Historical Museum had a festival of trees in mid-November and we had fun checking it out.  Samuel definitely understands more of Christmas this year, but I still think we have a year or two until he really "gets" it. 

At the Festival of Trees - our serious Sam

Pregnog

I want to be a low maintenance person.  It annoys me when I am a high maintenance person.  If you are high maintenance, that is okay.  You do you.  

I pride myself on being able to eat pretty much anything.  I will eat food out the fridge cold. I will eat food that does not really taste good to me.  I will eat a lot of things.

The same holds true for beverages.  I prefer water and coffee (with cream).  I am not a big soda person - the carbonation upsets my stomach.  I drink a lot of water every day - especially when I was running and/or teaching every day.  In  Korea my co-teachers affectionately called me "Camel" because I would carry my Nalgene water bottle everywhere with me and drink so much water.  (Funny True Story: one of my co-teachers said, "I saw you crossing the street the other day.  I wasn't sure if it was you or not (it was winter and I was probably bundled up) but then I saw your water bottle and knew it was you."  hahaha!) 

Throw back to Korea - when I carried my water bottle pretty much everywhere with me

All of that to say, it has been a big disappointment (and thorn in my side) that water has not tasted good to me this pregnancy.  At first I chalked it up to "first trimester nothing tastes good".  But my distaste for water has persisted. I have been craving the water from the Upper300s Hallway at Mountain Vista - that may be the best water I have ever drank in my entire life. So I came up with a drink that does taste good (most days).  Ian calls it Pregnog (like eggnog?).  Samuel knows the steps to making Pregnog and will sit on the counter and help me stir it up.  He likes to drink it too but has a hilarious reaction to it every.single.time.

This is my Bubba.  Ian has refilled it countless times. #amazinghusband

Pregnog

1. Start with an empty 48 oz "Bubba" waterbottle.
2. Pour in an entire can of La Croix (I like the coconut flavor)
3. Empty a tray of ice cubes
4. Fill the rest of Bubba with cold water
5. Give a generous squirt of flavored Stevia drops.
6. Mix together using the straw.
Enjoy!

Bubba and me back in my "Math Cabin" days

I only drink one Pregnog a day.  I make myself drink water the rest of the time.  I look forward to my Pregnog every afternoon.  I sometimes drink about two-thirds of Bubba and then refill the rest with water. Sometimes it tastes good and sometimes it tastes gross.  If we had an automatic ice maker, I would probably drink a lot more ice water but I am lazy about making ice (and cracking it out of the trays).  I have some really hard first world white girl problems.

thankful

I am 20 weeks pregnant today and I feel overwhelmingly thankful.  This blog is really for me (and Ian and the kids) so sometimes I probably share more than if I was doing this for monetary gain or some other reason.  I do not tend to be an overly emotional person (or at least I don't think of myself that way). 

I (Ian too) was thankful for Samuel's pregnancy.  In some ways it felt like a surprise and in some ways it felt like a fulfillment of what God had promised us a long time ago.  At times it felt like I was smiling and nodding and saying I was thankful but not knowing how to process the gift of a baby.  Now we have Samuel and I have had a taste of the fun, challenging, joyful, sanctifying experience called parenting. This go around I feel thankful in a different way - a deep unexplainable gratitude.  It makes me care way less if I gain 50 pounds or if my back aches or if my maternity clothes from last go around don't fit so well.  For us, it feels like a miracle - the weeks of sickness, tired of sleeping on my side, water not tasting good - all of it - is part of a miracle.

If you are reading this and your story has not started or ended like you thought it would, we are so sorry for you.  We know and love so many that have walked roads of deep deep grief.  If there is one thing that I have learned in the last few years is that being an adult means holding seemingly opposing emotions at the same time.  We are so thankful for this baby.  So thankful.  But that does not erase or diminish the deep grief we have for friends who aren't married that long to be married.  Or friends who long for children. Or friends who have miscarried.  Or friends who have lost tiny little newborns.  Or friends who have lost toddlers or big kids or adult kids.

When I think about how our story could go, I am so thankful that we have been gifted this life.  As with most (all?) parents, we hope our kids bury us (at a ripe old age).  But we don't have that guarantee, so I try to be thankful for each day that we do have with Samuel and this little one.

So it may seem that we take this pregnancy for granted or we have brushed aside those who have a different ending (or middle or start) but that is not our hope or desire.  We want to stand on the rooftops and jump and down and celebrate this baby for as long as God gifts him to us. But that does not mean our hearts don't break and we don't mourn.  It is harder to express grief (in my opinion) and Ian reminds me often enough that I naturally tend to be a Debbie Downer.  I often try to post happy or joyful moments to remember.

All of that to say, we still see you. We remember your kids.  We remember your babies.  We remember your infertility.  You are not forgotten.  We love you.  We love your kids.  We stand with you in your grief and heartbreak.  

Baby #2 - 20 weeks

I am 20 weeks pregnant today - halfway there!  And most likely, over halfway there as I am going to have a scheduled c-section this go around and will probably deliver early (which makes me sad, but I will see how long I can stretch my doctor into letting me go).  I was hoping to go 10 days late with Samuel because it would have made work easier and I never felt uncomfortable at the end.  I wouldn't mind going late with this baby as well.  Ian's birthday is March 16th and he has had to share that with with his twin his whole life.  Now he will have a kid born near the same day.  Poor guy.

The last few weeks I have felt so great.  I typically forget that I am pregnant until I try to lay down on my stomach or feel the baby move every so often (usually right when I lay down to go to sleep or in the middle of the night).  In the beginning, I felt so big.  Now I don't feel that big.  I am wearing maternity jeans and mostly maternity shirts, but I don't feel huge like I did in August and September.  

It is so great to be back to full energy and to feel like getting stuff crossed off my list.  We haven't really done too much to prepare for Baby, but I am trying to get caught up on everything I didn't do during August and September as well as prepare for the holidays.  

17 week 4 days - headed out for a run / walk - I thought about editing this photo for you, but my old online editing program is no longer free.

We had a doctor's appointment to kick off week 18 of pregnancy.  My doctor had a medical student with him (who looked so young!) and he tried to find the heartbeat of the baby.  He did, but it was hard to hear.  Our regular sitter (read: Samuel's third grandma who spoils, er, loves him) for Samuel was busy so Ian stayed home with him.  I was at the doctor's office for over two hours!  I sat in the waiting room for an hour and then waited in the exam room for 30-45 minutes.  It was like Mom's morning off :)

Samuel turned 18 months old the same day I was 18 weeks pregnant (how fun is that!?!)  We celebrated with coffee (decaf) and ice cream.  

I wanted to get a picture of Samuel and my belly to show our 18 month old boy and our 18 week boy, but this is what I got instead.  Samuel eating his ice cream and not cooperating for pictures.

I have been spending some time researching double jogging strollers and we pulled the trigger on buying a used one via Facebook Marketplace.  I am not sure if it is the area that we live in or if people just aren't selling BOBs but it was so hard to find a used BOB double jogging stroller.  I had been looking on and off on Craigslists and FB for a few months.  So when one came up within driving distance, we went for it.  And we did not die or get our tires slashed by the strangers that we bought the stroller from.  I am really proud that I did not let myself (or anyone related to me) throw down 700 dollars for a brand new one.  I was pretty tempted to ask though.  

18 weeks 4 days

20 Weeks with Samuel

In some ways this pregnancy feels so similar to Samuel's.  I chuckled when I went back and read how obsessed I was with jogging strollers during this same time during Samuel's pregnancy and how I am so ready (again) for some kicks and jabs (I don't feel much now, it is more like Baby squirming.) 

But in other ways it feels so different.  I know that I can survive a clingy, not-a-good sleeper infant.  I know I can keep a kid alive for at least 18 months.  We deliberated for like a week on what to call Samuel in utero (we called him Sprout - I think I wanted Nugget or Peanut and Ian did not want any food references).  This go around it is just "the baby" and we did not even discuss if we would come up with a nickname. 

I weighed myself just about everyday of Samuel's pregnancy (I also showered just about everyday of his pregnancy too).  I am not nearly as exhausted or trying to relearn Calc 3 this go around.  I was really nervous and anxious during Samuel's pregnancy - there were a lot of big life questions that still had question marks (where would we live?  would Ian be able to find a job?  would I be able to stay home?  what do you do with a baby alll day?  etc.)  I think I will have some anxiety as March approaches about if the baby will be a good sleeper, but our life is a lot more settled this go around (thankfully).  In some ways I am trying to "enjoy" this pregnancy more than last time, but I am also really focused on enjoying Samuel too.  

I have been praying, "Lord shape my heart (or our hearts) to look like Yours" often these last few months.  God is good to show us where we fall short and that through Jesus our hearts can continue to grow and be molded to be more like His.

Baby #2 - 16 weeks

I am writing this slightly after the fact, so if it sounds vague that would be why.  

Week 13 - We had just gotten back from Presbytery and I think it took me the whole week to recover.  I would go from feeling okay to having a big wave of nausea hit and have to lay down.  I did my best to take it easy.  I can remember vividly that week 13 was not the best with Samuel's pregnancy but I was so tired of not feeling well that I was discouraged.

13 Weeks 3 days - don't mind the dirty mirror, it will get cleaned (foreshadowing :) )

Week 14 - I must have been feeling better at this point because it was the weekend of the Flat Rock Creek Festival in Pauling and we spent a good amount of time out there.  And I ate a good amount of ridiculous fair food.  The weather was a bit cooler which was a big relief.  We had another doctor's appointment this week.  Once again, no ultrasound, no trying to find the heartbeat etc.  I was really really hoping that there was a baby in there as I get a sense of relief each time I hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler.

Week 15 - I was feeling okay, but I was a little disappointed that I did not feel awesome!  I remember with Samuel's pregnancy that I felt SO MUCH better by week 15.  However, we found out that we were having another BOY this week so who cares how I felt.  We FINALLY had ultrasound during week 15.  They moved my due date up a few days and we got see our little cutie.  I was 65/35 going in that we were having a boy (Ian wanted a girl, but thought it was a boy).  When we first out that we were expecting, I was hoping for a girl and then within a few weeks, I switched and hoped for a boy - so I was thrilled.  Ian says that he hopes for a girl somewhere along the way.  I said, "Don't talk to me" (I was too close to the morning / all day sickness experience to even think about child #3 Lord willing).

15 weeks 1 day - I think I was headed to Cross Country practice

I also ran for 5 minutes during week 15 so that was exciting.  I was committed to exercising last go around, but this time I think I am more so.  It was so hard to get back in shape after Samuel (some of that may have been due to his rough delivery).  I keep saying, "Your body will thank you in 9 months."

During our doctor's appointment I found out that I had a bacterial overgrowth which led to antibiotic cream.  I was not very mature about this. But it is now a distant memory so Praise the Lord for that.

Week 16 - I finally finally finally felt like myself again (hallelujah!) I had a fire under my bottom and I wanted to get stuff done.  I could stay awake and cross stuff off my to-do list during Samuel's naps.  I had energy and desire to exercise.  I rarely had any nausea.  Life felt good again.  Thankfully this go around I am gaining weight at much slower rate.  I weigh more now than I did at this point during the last pregnancy, but in some ways, I really don't care.  I am so thankful for this little life that I will try to be laid back and let my body do what it is going to do.

16 weeks 4 days - we went for a run (well walk / run ) outside

16 Weeks with Samuel 

Baby #2 - 12 weeks

I have been wanting to sit down and record some thoughts from this pregnancy, but I haven't yet.  My memory is so bad that if I don't write stuff down, I will forget.  Or everything will be hazy.  (Case in point: Ian is referring to August and September 2018 as "the lost months" ha!)

Week 5 - the best week of pregnancy thus far.  We found out towards the end of the week that I was pregnant.  I felt so good that I didn't think I was pregnant.  Ian thought I was.  So I took a pregnancy test to have a definite answer and I was wrong.  The only two clues that I can remember prior to knowing that I was pregnant were: 1.) About a week before, I found myself at 10pm craving a roast beef sandwich.  Like I could not sleep if I did not make this sandwich.  As I was sitting there eating my roast beef sandwich at 10pm I thought,"This is what a pregnant woman would do." And then I mentally shrugged at the thought, finished my sandwich, and went to bed.  2.) I had just started fitting back into some of my pre-Samuel clothes.  One pair of shorts seemed to fit fine in the morning and by afternoon they felt tight.  I thought, "Well that is weird, my belly used to get bigger as the day went on when I was pregnant." I shrugged it off as needing to eat less.

Week 6 - I struggled through a few days of cross country camp and was absolutely exhausted.  I napped every time that Samuel did.  Ian had VBS each evening so that was not so fun.  We told our parents and siblings shortly after we found out.  Ian's Mommabomma had the best reaction.  All I said over the phone was, "We have some exciting news to share..." and she was screaming.  

Week 7 - We were on vacation with Ian's parents and brother in Door County, Wisconsin.  I spent a lot of time resting and feeling nausea. I would feel yucky but then if I ate, I would feel better.  Going on vacation during the first trimester is the best and worst! It was SO GREAT to have Ian and his parents around to help with Samuel, but at the same time, I felt like I only experienced a tiny piece of Door County due to laying in bed most days.

Our family of FOUR in Door County.  I felt horrible when we took this picture, but I knew it would be on social media, so I tried to look not sick.

Week 8 and 9 - oh man!  These were the worst.  I felt awful all day and either laid on the couch or the bed.  Samuel would bring me book and after book to look at. He would whine to go outside a lot which I felt bad about it.  But it was also mid August so it was hot and humid out.  We were in deep survival mode - using paper plates, eating frozen pizza, and not caring about too much. My personal hygiene was at an all time low and I did not even care.  We had some rough weeks.

Samuel was a trooper.  He would come and stand next to me when I would throw up.  He wouldn't try to play in the toilet (which I am pretty sure would be his dream come true).  He was patient for a 16 month old.

We had our first doctor's appointment during this time, it was a let down.  They did not do an ultrasound, they did not try to find a heartbeat, they pretty much told me not to do drugs and come back in a month.

I remember thinking a lot about Samuel's delivery during this time.  Mainly I kept trying to imagine what would have happened if we had not lived in a time of modern medicine.  For some reason I was fixated on thinking, "what if..." and I was somewhat emotional.  I think this was a byproduct of not laying around too much (good for me physically, not necessarily the best for me mentally).

Week 10 - I think we started telling people around this point because it was too hard to tell people that I was still sick after so many weeks.  I don't think I threw up at all, but I did not feel great either.  I tried to convince Samuel to watch TV with me, he wasn't into it much.  Everyday from 4pm until whenever Ian got home we would watch Daniel Tiger Neighborhood.  By this point, poor Samuel had stop asking to go outside - which was great and heartbreaking.  He would go outside with Dad so that made me feel a bit better.

Our cookie from Susie's Bakery that announced Baby #2 to our Facebook family and friends

Week 11 - the smell of coffee no longer turned my stomach but the taste of it was yuck! {I just read this sentence while proofreading and chuckled because you can tell I deal with a toddler all day every day} I started to get some energy back but it was slow going most days.  My goal was to not leave the house at all ever.  I tried to wear regular clothes but by the afternoon I had running shorts on.

Somewhere in week 10 or 11 Ian and Samuel both caught the same cold.  It was gross - running nose, fever, and a headache.  Both Ian and I were out for the count and Samuel was seemingly fine.  He was running circles around us. I had a hard time having a good attitude by this point because I so tired of being sick and tired. I was so so so thankful that I did not catch the cold.

10 Weeks 6 days pregnant and I remember that I felt HUGE.  I thought everyone could tell I was pregnant just by seeing my belly.  

Week 12 - Hopefully only a few more weeks of feeling bad to go? I definitely was feeling better than week 8 or 9 but I still had to lay down every time Samuel napped.  I think I tried to go back to Cross Country around this time.  I pretty much would just stand or sit and watch the kids.

Samuel 15 months

A collage that Papa G made of Samuel's time in Illinois

I am way behind on writing these monthly update posts.  I am going to try to "catch up".  There are so many fun moments to remember. So I am writing this way after Samuel turned 15 months, but "better late than never"?

Height:32 inches
Weight: 23.6 lbs


We started month 15 in Illinois with Samuel's grandparents.  And by the end of the month Samuel could walk (glory, glory, hallelujah!) It is so great not to have him tearing up his pants or knees when we are outside and he decides to crawl on concrete.  And he is getting heavy to carry everywhere so it is convenient that he can walk.  Now we just need to work on holding Mom or Dad's hand when we are in the street etc. 

Dad took the day off on the 4th of July (!!!) and we went to
 Target in the afternoon.  Samuel insisted that we
share our Starbucks with him.

Samuel learned how to rub in lotion while we were in Illinois and he is obsessed (he is almost 19 months as I am writing this and he is still into putting lotion on and rubbing it in)  Samuel got to see Great Grandma Ferguson (and try to tear apart her room) while we were in Illinois. Samuel also met his cousin BB while we were in Illinois.  They are only a month apart in age and their grandmas are twin sisters.

Samuel celebrated his second Fourth of July.  Last year we were in Denver and celebrated with our friends Dan, Sara, and Kath.  This year we got to hang out with a family from church and Samuel had his first combine ride (thanks to wheat harvest).  He was okay with it as long as Dad was with him.  

Enjoying pancakes at John Paulding Days

Samuel loves to play at the park so I tried to get out early in the day and let him play.  I would run around town and stop by the park and then we would run home (and eat breakfast).  Besides learning to walk, Samuel also stopped nursing during month 15.  I have a lot of words that I could say about nursing but I will say this - I was so glad to be DONE.  

For the last few months he was only nursing 3 times a day (before naps and bed) but to feel completely independent and not have Samuel rely on me (and soley me) for something is so great.  There were a few times that he would fall or get really upset and I would think, "Shoot!  If we were still nursing, I could calm him down so quick" but we survived.  I am thankful for the nutrition and immune support that he received but as I often tell Ian, "I am too independent and too selfish to be a good parent." 

The kid thinks he is 16 (at the touch a truck event) 

Samuel experienced his first John Paulding Days (so did Mom and Dad).  He went to a touch a truck event with Dad and the Nices.  He was a big fan.  

He slept through the ice cream tent being outside his bedroom window and he slept through the fireworks (which were so loud).

One activity that Samuel has gotten more and more into is playing in the kitchen with milk caps.  I think I got the idea off of the internet.  I have been collecting the caps off of milk jugs or juice containers and storing them in "Samuel's cabinet" in the kitchen.  We have one cabinet that Samuel gets into every day and pulls everything out.  I refer to the milk caps as "predecessors of Legos"  They can get everywhere quite quickly and they do not feel good on the bottom of your foot if you step on one.

A boy and his milk caps

Sometimes Samuel likes to put the milk caps into an empty yogurt container (I cut slits in the lid).  Sometimes he likes to fill up a cup with caps and dump them out.  Sometimes he likes to put a lot in a bowl and stir them around.  I feel like it is instances 512 of how kids like non toys over "real" toys. He usually wants someone to "play" with him but every so often I will catch a break and he will play with them while I do dishes.  



We ended his 15 month of life with hosting some friends (from our Korea days!) who had 3 kids.  Samuel loved having a big kids around to keep up with.  

Playing with Rory at the park.  There are rarely any other kids at the park when
we are there so Samuel enjoyed taking our friends there.  

Thanks PapaG for the collage!

Samuel Cary - 14 months

Samuel's first haircut. I did not get many pictures as
I was trying to keep him in the chair.

I am way behind on writing these monthly update posts.  I am going to try to "catch up".  There are so many fun moments to remember. So I am writing this way after Samuel turned 14 months, but "better late than never"?

Samuel *still* wasn't walking but did take some steps on his own.  I was so eager for him to start walking (and since I am writing this a few months later I can say that life got so much easier/better once he started walking!).  In general the more independent Samuel gets, the more I enjoy motherhood.  Samuel is currently grunting quite a bit (eh, eh, eh for everything) and he enjoys his "bollywood dance" moves.

Samuel got his first haircut!  He did okay (I would give him a 7/10). He sat in the chair by himself.  He was not happy when the stylist tried to blow him off with a blow dryer.  He did not scream the whole time so I took it as a win.  Nothing ages a kid like a haircut!

Samuel is a big fan of big equipment

The house across the street got torn down which provided entertainment in the form of watching the big machines tear it down and then fill in the hole.  He really wanted to get himself across the street and on the equipment but we settled for watching it out the window or from the yard.


Paulding County had their (4-H) fair and Samuel enjoyed seeing the rabbits and chickens.  I think most of the animals were too big and intimidating to him.  Since the fair had free admission, we went almost everyday.  Samuel is a fan of fair food (much like his parents).

Enjoying a lemon shake up and the fair animals

We roadtripped to Illinois and spent time with both sets of grandparents.  Ian and his dad spent a week in Tennessee for General Assembly and during that time Samuel cut all four of his molars (I can remember this quite well as Samuel was adjusting to sleeping somewhere new and cutting teeth and he was so whiny and clingy).  I think the jury is still out on whether he likes pools or not.  The smaller the pool, the more he likes it.  He is not too fond of floating in a floating, but he does like to splash.  Samuel liked checking out the (new to him) parks around town.  He loved that MamaG and PapaG had a set of stairs that he could up and down (and up and down and up and down).  Once he got tired of going up and down the stairs, he got a big kick out of throwing a ball down the stairs (and having someone retrieve it for him).  In celebration of his first World Cup season, he liked walking around (while holding hands of someone else) and kicking a small soccer ball.  He still enjoys checking for squirrels, visiting St. Francis, and playing the wind chimes.

Samuel turned 14 months while we were in Illinois - so some of these are
14 months and some are 15 months.  Thanks Papa G for the collage.

Dear Paulding, Please Don't Apologize

Whenever you move, one of the common questions you get is, "Where did you move from?"  To keep things simple, Ian and I usually answer, "Denver".  Some times people will chuckle when they hear our answer and a lot of times people will ask, "Why would you move here!?!?"

And in some ways I get it.  As far as I know, Paulding, Ohio is not a vacation destination for the masses.  It is not know for its great weather or lack of insects.  No one has "Native" bumper stickers to claim their pride in being born here.

photo via Google Image Search

And yet Ian and I would pick Paulding over Denver.  I guess the biggest reason is we feel that God called us here and has a plan and a purpose for us here.  But there is something else - something that is hard to put into words.

When we go to Susie's Bakery, she knows my kid.  She will give him a donut hole or show him how her clock moves.  If she has time, she will come out from behind the counter and visit for a bit.

When you go to the grocery store, you may just bump into someone you know.  It is not a mass sea of strangers doing their own thing at their own pace.  The cashier will give the receipt to Samuel because she knows he likes to hold it (and then shred it in the backseat).

And then there is this:

There is something so beautiful and magnificent about fields of corn or wheat (or even soy beans).  To see the cycle each year of planting, growing, and harvesting is powerful to me.  Whenever we were in Korea or Denver I would always wonder, "How tall is the corn now?  Does it look good?"  I want my kid to know that food we eat started as seeds and had to be planted and cared for and prayed for and harvested.

It just doesn't magically appear in the grocery store.  Some years are good and some years are not.

The meat we eat comes from cows and chickens and pigs and turkeys.  Cows are big and they have a specific smell.  Chickens are little dinosaurs and pigs are mean.  It takes work to bring food to us.

So folks of Paulding, be proud and don't apologize.  Ian and I choose to live here.  We are excited for our child to grow up here.  It is something that we say to each other often.   

We don't have to live here, we get to.

Samuel Cary - 13 months

Well, I have decided to try to document the second year of Samuel's life.  I have no idea how this will go, but I at least have to give it a try (it is alarming to me how poor my memory has become)


Social: The kid thinks he is a 6 year old. We tagged along with Daddy to a hospital visit in Fort Wayne and checked out a new park.  He was content in the baby area of the park for about 20 seconds before he decided that he needed to be in the big kid area.  He thinks he can go do whatever he sees 9 year olds running around doing.  Once Samuel can walk, he is going to be unstoppable.







Diet: Anything he can get into his mouth. Samuel's favorite foods are yogurt, hard boiled eggs, and anything on Dad's plate.  I found some fruit and veggie melts at the store this past month and Samuel loves those too.  He is in a spherical and ellipsoid food stage.  I think it started with the hard boiled eggs.  If you ask him where the eggs are, he knows which shelf in the fridge. He will pick his own hard boiled egg out in the morning and crack it on the counter (he could probably half peel it too, but it makes too much of a mess and I don't have the patience). He likes cutie/mandarin oranges as well.  He has tried to crack them as well, but it does not work, so he usually gives up and just starts eating the whole thing (peel included - until I catch him and pick orange peel out of his mouth).

Clothes: In between 12 and 18 month clothes.  We got you a pair of Fergshark flip flops in 3T this month.  

Momma's Favorites: When we walk from the living room to Samuel's bedroom for nap time, he has started to pat my arm.  It is cute and I think he is imitating that I rub his back. It is also fun to plan something that Samuel will like to do (go to the park) and then see the happiness on his face when we arrive.

Crying: You cry (scream) when something does not go your way - so that would be 194 times a day.

Sleep: Oh sleep. Samuel will sleep through the night and take two naps a day. We'll just leave it at that.


Baby Likes: Eating, keys (and pressing the lock/unlock buttons to make the cars beep), the park, emptying the dishwasher, emptying the laundry basket, the tv remote (and all technology), Susie's Bakery, ROCKS, WATER, pushing things while walking behind them, GOING OUTSIDE (this may be Sam's most favorite thing in the world!) TAKING A BATH (this may be Samuel's second most favorite thing in the world).  Samuel is excellent at pointing out trucks, birds (specifically robins), squirrels, and anything he deems "tractor" (aka lawn mowers).  He can't talk so I just assume that he knows the difference between trucks and tractors.

Baby Dislikes: Coming inside, riding in the car for more than 5 minutes, the jogging stroller, diaper changes

Milestones: Technically, Samuel spent about 6 hours in Michigan when he was 3 months old, so I don't know if that counts or not.  This past weekend, we tagged along with Dad to Presbytery in Ann Arbor and got a full 24 hours in, so now it counts for sure!

Samuel is doing better at drinking out of a sippy cup. (And by that I mean, it takes him 3 days to drink one sippy)

I feel like Samuel has started to understand a lot more in the past month.  He understand sequences (put on shoes before going outside or he thinks if Dad is not home then he is at church... which is true most of the time).  He also understands commands ("put your shoes on"  "take this to the laundry room" "put your paci in your crib") now it is just a matter of him following the commands.

He can put the cap on his food pouches.  He knows how to put it on and he knows that it needs to be twisted to go on securely.  I love seeing his intense look of concentration when he is mastering a skill.

Two funny stories from this past month:

On a rainy day, we decided to visit the library.  The kids' section of the library is so fun!  Samuel crawled around and explored the duplos table, the hand puppets, and some big stuffed animals.  He, of course, had zero interest in the books.  At one point he crawled over to a table, pulled himself up, and started for the stuffed animal sitting on the other end.  The next thing I know, my kid is BITING the table.  I told him, "No".  He did it again.  I took him over to the diaper bag and gave him his paci (which he usually only gets at nap time and in the car).  He started to wiggle so I put him down. He crawled right back over to the table, pulled himself up, took his paci out, and started biting on the table again.  I was mortified but tried to keep it together (note: there were no other people in the library so I knew the librarians could hear everything I was saying).  I told him, "You can stop chewing on the table, or we can go home."  I will let you guess what choice he went with (we went home).



Samuel comes along with whatever I need to do each day. I needed to work on something for children's church at the church so Samuel came with me.  He likes to pull the books off the shelf of the library at church.  I told him, "No, we only pull books off the shelf at home." He did it a few more times (of course when I set him down next to his toys, he has zero interest and just crawls back to the book shelves). Finally I slapped his hand (not hard) and told him, "No" and gave up and went home.
The next day we went back and he headed right for the books. I said, "Samuel" and gave him the look.  He looked back at me, hit himself on the hand, and started pulling books off the shelf.  
The next week we were over at the church again and the same thing happened!  He now just hits himself on the hand and starts unloading the shelves.